Thursday, March 28, 2002

Panda Assault!

The curators at the National Zoo here in Washington aren't calling it attempted rape, but the details do seem to point in that direction. On Sunday morning, Tian Tian made his move on the zoo's female panda, Mei Xiang, and was swiftly rebuffed. She spent the next day and a half huddled nervously in her favorite tree trying to keep away from the brute.

Now I'm as saddened at this development as anyone, but let's not forget these pandas are only here on a 10-year lease from China. We're paying the Reds a million dollars a year each for these things, and if we don't gets some heart-meltingly cute cubs out of the pair, we'll simply be out of luck. This calls for some serious romantic therapy.

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