Thursday, July 19, 2007

Congressional Porn Names

God bless The Malcontent, you've made my day. That is, for the post about stripper/porno names that can be easily generated using names of prominent politicos and various members of Congress. Heh - members. Since the source is a subscription-only link to The Hotline, I'll just do as Matt did and copy the list myself. My personal favorite is "Kennedy Whitehouse." Though, of course, "Spitzer Cummings" has charms all its own. And finally, Ohio Republican John Boehner has been recognized in several of the submissions below for a name almost as entertaining as his former congressional colleague, the senator from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

The nominations:
Goode Sessions; Buyer Weiner; Costa Lott; Issa Foxx; Rangel Dicks; Harry Boehner; Weiner Sessions; Nita Dicks; Nita Johnson; Holden Weiner; Costa Dicks; Harry Weiner; Tanner Hyde; Issa Boehner; Boehner Bayh; Weiner Bayh; Goode Bayh; Bayh Moore; Goode Pryce; Mary Johnson; Mary Cochran; Patty Reid; Harry Reed; Issa Cummings; Harry Reid; Wu Young Dicks; Frank Johnson; Dick Bond; Loretta Sanchez; Payne Sessions; Otter Heineman; Johnson Hunter; Dicks Granger; Candy Dicks; Cox Polk; Buck Traficant; Moore Johnson; Rep. Faleomavaega and just about any Johnson; Costa Fortuño; Dingell Berry; Fattah Dicks; Spitzer Cummings; Norm Dicks; Fattah Johnson; Phil Akaka; Kind Dicks; Pryor Farr; Rove Foxx; Chuck Bonjean; Akin Cheeks; Chaka Goode; Kennedy Whitehouse; Vitter Sessions; and “anything with Loebsack.”

My only confusion is how "Ensign Brownback" didn't make it on to the list. It would be perfect for a pirate-themed porno: a young British naval officer is captured during a skirmish off the coast of Hispanola, only to discover that's it's not all rum and the lash on the high seas...


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Who Are the Refugees Next Door?

It seems that my new neighbors must be either devotees of trendy retrograde environmental practices or recent immigrants from some barbarous nation where mechanical laundry services are unknown.

I can only imagine that the pricklier members of the HOA might have something to say about this new development.

A Look Back on the Savarese Legacy

Speaking of Lou Savarese and his recent loss to Evander Holyfield, I can't resist posting a clip of his best known loss, the infamous 38-second, first round defeat in Scotland against Mike Tyson.


Saturday, July 14, 2007

R.I.P., Arturo Gatti's Career

So Alphonso Gomez just knocked out Arturo Gatti at 2:12 of round 7 in Atlantic City. While Gomez was pummeling an only semi-responsive Gatti through the seventh round, the HBO announcers were writing his epitath in a particularly cold-hearted way. "Hopefully, he's taken his last right."

Farewell, my handsome Italian/Canadian rose. Now it's on to the main event: WBO Welterweight Champion Antonio Margarito vs. Paul Williams.

11:40pm UPDATE: It's a win for the new WBO Welterweight Champion, Paul Williams. The man threw 1,256 punches in 12 rounds - he earned it. Margarito did have a deal to fight WBA Welterweight Champion Miguel Cotto, but that was dependent on him delivering tonight. Who knows what the next matchup will be?

Going back to Gatti's retirement (which he just officially announced on HBO), I've got a suggestion. Given his Italian heritage and good looks, he could easily move into acting. Despite the end of The Sopranos, there are always a huge number of tough guy/mobsters roles begging for someone with some authenticity. He should make a call to Lou Savarese, who has played roles on Law & Order: SVU as well as, yes, The Sopranos. That is, before he made an extremely ill-advised return to the ring two weeks ago against Evander Holyfield. Best to stick to acting, Lou.

Worst Job in Boxing

Being Ricardo Mayorga's translator. Trash talking by proxy is always a dicey affair (if you want to go straight to the action, skip to about 3:30 and watch from there).

Just goes to show you - never mess with a Nicaraguan. Those guys are crazy.

Fighting Global Warming Alarmism...with Beach Balls


Sunday, July 01, 2007

Environmentalist Malthusianism

Frank Furedi of Spiked Online does an excellent job of explaining the radical misanthropy that underlies much of modern environmentalism:

Where in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries Malthusians warned that population growth threatened people with starvation, today’s Malthusians denounce people for threatening the planet by consuming too much. As a result, contemporary Malthusianism has an unusually strident and misanthrophic streak. In the West, the population-control lobby castigates those who have large families for being environmentally irresponsible. Having children, especially lots of children, is now discussed as an ‘eco-crime’ on a par with pollution. From this perspective, a new human life is seen as little more than another producer of carbon; new life is seen as a form of pollution. So it would be better, the Malthusians argue, if these new human lives did not exist at all. As one Malthusian crusader notes: ‘A non-existent person has no environmental footprint; the emission “saving” is instant and total.’ This preference for the non-existent over the existent speaks to a powerful anti-humanist sensibility. And it is not only eccentric and isolated misanthropes who value ‘non-existence’ as being somehow morally superior to existence – rather, this outlook is symptomatic of a wider trend for devaluing the status of human life today.
For an elegant response to the classic Malthusian argument, see the writing of Julian Simon and, more recently, of Indur Goklany.