Saturday, November 20, 2004

DreamWorks is Turning Your Kids Queer

The story of an animated vegetarian shark could be the first step towards something unnatural going on in the mind of your child, warns the American Family Association. Ironically, in the world of Shark Tale, being gay means not having an appetite for man meat.

Cruel link of the day.


Thursday, November 11, 2004

Liberal Arrogance, Revised

My ignorance amazes even me. I finally learned the source of the "How could he have won? I don't know a single person who voted for him!" quote from a couple posts ago. It's not a joke - it was supposedly uttered by film critic Pauline Kael about Nixon's defeat of McGovern in 1972. I lament my poor fact-checking, but am delighted by the fact that it was actually uttered by a real clueless Manhattan lefty. I'd rather it have actually been about Reagan than a neo-liberal megalomaniac like Richard Nixon, but it's still funny. Of course there are slightly different versions of the quote floating around. One website has the emphasis reversed: "Take a lesson from Pauline Kael, Paul. In 1973, she said she couldn't believe McGovern lost. She said, 'Everybody I know voted for him.' (He lost 49 states.)"

Enlightenment courtesy of a great piece in the Chronicle of Higher Education on the phenomenon of 'liberal groupthink' on university campuses.


Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Jews on Stage

Mike Reiss, writer and producer for The Simpsons recently made it to Northwestern University for a lecture to the local Hillel kids, and he gave the crowd what they wanted. A Simpsons movie? Yes. How do the people on the show feel about critical, obsessive fans? "Go fuck yourself." Well, we knew that already.


Friday, November 05, 2004

Welcome to the Wilderness

I sent this (in more or less the same format) earlier today to my uncle, who wore a Veterans for Kerry button over the course of the campaign. It won't be easy, but it's something the those who feel defeated need to read:

The real happiness for me coming out of the election is the shocked expression on the faces of all of the pretentious, sanctimonious celebrities and activists who were so sure Kerry would save the day. The kind of people who think that all Republicans are greedy idiots. This kind of studied disdain for Red State people turned out more indignant Bush voters than the elite media types will ever know. Every time Michael Moore was interviewed about how Bush - and by extension, his supporters - are "criminally stupid" he bought the Bush/Cheney ticket another 50,000 votes. I'm shocked at how few people seem to realize that. But it reminds me also that this Democratic intellectual snobbery isn't new. A favorite joke among Republicans in DC goes like this: it's the week after the 1980 election and a group of upwardly mobile Manhattanites are at a cocktail party commiserating over how badly Carter had just gotten beat. One woman, clearly still shocked at the loss, says to her friends "I can't understand how Reagan won...not a single person I know voted for him!" [note: I got the details wrong on that one. See "Liberal Arrogance, Revised," above] I've heard people at Republican gatherings tell that one dozens of times, and it always gets a laugh. I also remember telling it to a particularly liberal friend of mine and got nothing but a blank stare. Nationally the Democrats keep repeating that they're the "party of the people," as opposed to Republicans who are supposedly the lackeys of corporate interests. How they could be so out of touch with reality that they still seem to actually believe that is breathtaking. They lost almost everything that really counted - across the board. They kept Pete Coors from joining the Senate. That's it. They were massacred on every level and they still think they represent the "real" America that's been hijacked by a handful of Republican bad guys. That's not optimism - that's living in fantasy land. And if the DNC doesn't fire Terry McAuliffe and hire someone who can cock-slap the party back into reality they're going to simply keep losing...and losing...and losing. Which, as it turns out, I'm perfectly fine with.

But hey, Kerry voters, don't feel too bad about the election. My DC insider connections tell me that Halliburton and ExxonMobil will be dictating much more centrist White House policy from now on in an attempt to bring the nation together. Let the healing begin!


Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Hail the Conquering Hero

Yes, Bush has won four more years, and in a decisive way. Do I like the man? No - of course not. For me he's been a wild, heartbreaking disappointment. But I am floating on cloud nine regardless. Why? Because of all the people who are crying in their N/A beers and tearing their hair out right now. If Michael Moore, George Soros and every sanctimonious asshole from hates the world right now, then I am loving life.