There’s no better news day than when life imitates The Simpsons. “Parents of the Year” return their award when an arson conviction surfaces? Why, sounds like “Children of a Lesser Clod,” in which Homer opens a daycare center and ends up winning the “Saint Who Walks Among Us” award for his work with children at the annual Good Guy Awards:
Marge: Homer, this man is from the Good Guy Awards!
Man: We honour people who make life better for the community, like you, with your day care center.
Marge: I contributed by not objecting too much.
Homer: Ahh, that's my girl!
Man: Anyway, this film crew will shoot some behind the scenes footage of your amazing work.
Homer: Is there a snack table?
Man: It's already set up. [points to snack table]
Homer: Heehehehee ... [starts gorging. A cameraman comes to film him] Don't film this! [waving fist at camera]
But a surprise is in store in the auditorium on the night of the ceremony:
Krusty: Now let's take a look at Homer's wonderful work. [screen lowers]
Narrator: It looks like any other home in America, but this is the house that love built. [all the kids are shown playing tug-a-war. The other end is attached to the car, which Homer is driving. Homer guns the engine and the kids let go. The car shoots backwards into a lamppost and catches fire. Homer laughs]. His scabby red knee became an infectious beacon of hope [audience "Awws"] I guess you could sum up Homer in two words ...
Bart: Big phony! [audience gasps] This is the real Homer, a beer drinking meany ... [point to screen]
[Homer is shown passed out drunk in his underwear beside the Christmas tree. Homer is mumbling as the dog sniffs at him. Beer cans are scattered around him]
... and he gambles like crazy ...
[Homer is shown at the kitchen table with Lenny, Moe and Carl, playing cards. He places Maggie and a pile of chips in the center of the table]
Homer: [in video] I'll call.
Moe: Three nines.
Homer: [in video] Oh, I almost had a straight.
Moe: Come to new pappa! [rakes in Maggie]
[audience gasps]
Homer: [in audience] Hey, what's the deal?
Lisa: We just spliced in some home movies ... what do you think?
Homer: Well, I'd rather reserve judgement until I ... oh my God!
[video shows Homer chasing Bart down the street with a mace]
Homer: [on video] I'll mace you good!
Bart: [on video] Ahhh!
[audience gasps]
Homer: [in audience] That is completely taken out of context! [climbs on stage] Why you little ... [starts strangling Bart]
After that it's time to flee the police under the guise of going our for frosty chocolate milkshakes.
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