Twisting the Straight Story

Thanks to a wack-job on a tractor, residents of Washington, D.C. have something else to think about besides the waking of the sleeper cells. He’s a tobacco farmer from Whitakers, NC and he says he’s upset about the state of the federal government's subsidy program. He’s been driving his John Deere through the shallow waters of Constitution Gardens, to no apparent purpose, since last night. His claim to have explosives ready to detonate has kept the 100 or so law enforcement officials on the scene at bay so far. Imagine it – people in DC have been so unnerved by the prospect of terrorist retaliation for an Iraqi invasion that a psycho roaming the Mall and claiming to have access to explosives has become merely an amusing distraction from the otherwise serious news of the day. But of course we can’t let it go one for ever. By far the most popular response in news stories and from conversations with other people downtown has been to bring out the tranquilizer guns. After all, the National Zoo is only a few minutes away by emergency vehicle ride.

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