America's New Money, Courtesy of Parker Brothers

The U.S. Treasury has alarming new plans for the nation's currency. In the interest of staying a step ahead of counterfeiters, they are contemplating adding new colors to existing bills. The Treasury spokesman assures us that they will only be adding "subtle color" so that "the public can rest assured that notes will maintain their distinct American look and feel." As with anything inspired by the Euro, I'm skeptical. Sure, it might start as only a little pink on Alexander Hamilton's cheeks, but are we to believe it will really stop there? Before you know it they be adding oddly-tinted spiral designs and other inexplicable shapes and our venerable currency will end up looking this this.

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